Have Lunch With Me, Yeah?: Eating Out… Salad At McDonalds and Takeout At The Mall Pt. 1

Salad. Let me tell you a story:


So there I was diving into my McDonalds bag to grab out my Southwest salad with grilled chicken (because they use white flour in the fried chicken).


It was Wednesday afternoon and she was looking good so I took a lot of pictures of her naked (without salad dressing).




We got up close and personal so I could see her salsa.


It got a little dark but I didn’t stop.


And then, I pulled out the salad dressing. They give you two options: Creamy Caesar (though I highly doubt Caesar was all that creamy),


And Ranch. Which is a cool play on words that I just got: He’s a farmer and works on a ranch…. Get it? You probably did. Anyways… something was telling me not to eat this. I didn’t know what it was. But I followed my gut instincts and pulled out my dressing and held a comparison.



In the ingredients list of this ranch, I know what everything is. Canola oil? I know what this is, I use it all of the time. Water? Believe it or not, I just finished drinking this. Salt? All the time. Lemon juice? Razor Blades. Garlic? Vampires. See? This stuff does not only have stellar ingredients it wards away mythical creatures and shavers alike. It’s amaze. Citric Acid is a preservative ( one of the healthiest, it’s like Vitamin C) and Xanthan Gum is a thickener so that it’s not the consistency of water.


This? This is Death. Why use garlic and onion powder when you can use the real thing? And lemon juice concentrate? Seriously? Why distilled vinegar when I can eat wine vinegar and get wasted? And Corn Syrup? What the heck?!


And this? This is Also death. IT has twice as many ingredients as the ranch dressing (both of them) and in my opinion the least amount of ingredients the better, because then this way it has a higher chance of being true all natural organic ingredients and have a lower chance of killing me slowly.  This has both Corn Syrup and Fructose. What do you need the both of them for? Xanthan Gum and water are the only things the all natural dressing I bought and this poisonous McDonalds have in common.


I poured the yummy Texas salad dressing on the salad and it was beyond delicious. The End. I bet you forgot I was even telling a story (I know I did). The moral of this blog post is DON’T EAT THE SALAD DRESSING. Keep this in mind the next time you go to eat at McDonalds. Enjoy.



“Take Out At The Mall” will be a short post as a part 2 to this post that I’ll put up the day after tomorrow. 😀 I’m Grinning.  Kisses and Kombuchas! — Sage


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