My next post on my “journey to self-discovery” was going to be me going on an on about how much I love animes and how I was so excited to try new types of animes and talk about them here on my blog. But I have completely ruined all hope of that ever happening in all of yours and my life because of one anime.
It all happened yesterday evening– I got on the computer with every intention of beginning my research on different genres and types of animes so that I could start my post and talk to you guys about my experience. I started my search in yaoi. Why yaoi, you might ask? Because it sounded like a good idea at the time and because I have read similar stories on Wattpad before and I thought it would be fun to see it in action. For those of you who do not know what yaoi is, the easiest way to explain it is yaoi is boy on boy love, or just Boy’s Love (BL for short). It is when one very attractive, rather domineering man chases another very attractive, passive and slightly girlish looking man’s butt in hopes of becoming intimate. The pursuer is called the seme and the person being pursued is called the uke. Now, there are many types of yaoi. There are ones with literary themes and magical themes both of which are usually non-explicit (according to the Geekiary), and there are ones that are strictly for mature audiences. I had planned to try out one of each and I was looking at videos of them on YouTube for a better part of my “research” last night but that is not where the horror begins. It begins with a kid named ronaldmcdonaldslilbro.
On google I searched “Anime Community” so that I can talk to other people who have watched more animes than I have and that I could ask their opinion on the list I had found on the Geekiary. The first thing that pops up with this search is Anime-Planet. It sounded cute and when I clicked on the website it didn’t look like it would kill my computer with viruses so I looked around, searched for the type of yaoi they had on their website. There wasn’t a lot but there were a few I knew from their names. I continued to look around and you know how usually when you scroll all the way down on a professional website you can see ways to contact the owners (which I had planned to do, not because their site was bad but just because I had a few questions) I also found a link to a chat room. I figured this would be better than trying to contact the owners, so I signed up immediately and began to talk to the 200 something people who were already there. The conversation went something like this (I don’t remember the names of the users so I made up my own):
sagedandconfused: Hi, I’m new here.
shakethatthang_12: Can you not respond to what I said? (he was not speaking to me, so I ignore this)
sagedandconfused: So, I had a question I wanted to ask. (I am kind of awkward at first when I talk to people I don’t know.)
shakethatthang_12: You do?
rokuotaku: I am not going to tell you my 3 sizes. (this person was not talking to me either, so I ignored this as well)
sagedandconfused: Does anybody here watch yaoi?
For a while there was no response so I patiently waited like 10 minutes or so. Then suddenly:
ronaldmcdonaldslilbro: Watch Boku no Pico
shakethatthang_12: Why not?
rokuotaku: Did you not know that my 3 sizes are my boobs, hips and feet, riddlediddle? (a different user, I assumed)
At this point, I decided to ignore the fact that these 3 year olds were on this website talking about things they knew nothing about and continued with my quest to finding the perfect yaois for me to try watching.
sagedandconfused: What’s Boku no Pico? A yaoi?
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. I didn’t get a response and was tired of waiting and thus began my search for the infamous Boku no Pico. I googled it, saw pictures (bad pictures) but still thought it couldn’t be that terrible so I youtubed it. All I could find there were reactions and heavily censored videos of it. What I did notice was that each and every video was saturated with comments telling everybody to avoid this anime like the plague. I thought, “oh no– these grown men and women are overreacting. A cartoon can’t be that bad. I am going to find a video of it.” I found one (fan made) and it just appeared to be about three little boys cross dressing and making out with each other and I thought “okay, this is weird. But not nearly as bad as these people were making it seem.” So I scrolled down and read the comments, one person said that they were there because people told them not to do it and I thought it was funny because I was there for that exact same reason. Another person said that it gets worse and that there are three different parts. Being the overly stubborn (see: “The Idea”) and curious person I am, I went back to google to look for an episode of it. I finally found one on dailymotion and when I clicked on it a big screen came up as the anime started. During the opening credits for the anime I was kind of like this:
But, being the trooper that I am, I continued to watch past this oddly sexual title sequence. After a few minutes the anime opens with a bowl of ice, naked bodies and weird noises. Honestly, I should’ve stopped there, buuut… I didn’t and as I continue to watch I’m kind of like:
which quickly turns into:
All I have to say is, ice should not go there. How is it going to get out again? Do I want to know the answer to that? Probably not– so just shhh. Even during this scene I was thoroughly confused. I knew what they were doing but was that an older guy doing all those things to that poor little man-child beneath him? Are you kidding me? What is this? The answer is simple. This is Shotacon. Shota for short. What is shota, young innocent child? Well, shota is an anime about an older man getting busy with a younger boy. Think about it. Take second. Ding.
So I continued to watch the anime and when I realized what was going on I was kind of like,
It was one of those times where know you shouldn’t be watching it but you’re intrigued and slightly nauseated so you continue to watch just because you don’t know what else to do with yourself. The only thing I could think to say at this point is “Wow.” But everybody eventually reaches their limit. The ice cream scene was my limit.
Now, I can say I’ve done it. Even though I haven’t watched the entire thing, nor the entire series, I can say I’ve done it. I’ve survived Boku no Pico. I honestly hate whoever ronaldmcdonaldslilbro is for even suggesting something like this but this taught me something. You have to pick and choose when to listen to complete strangers– that was not one of the times. For once, I should’ve actually listened to the comments on you tube. Also, I should’ve known not to listen to somebody on a chat website. That’s like visiting Omegle and not expecting to see something you shouldn’t. Ridiculous.
But I admit, I brought this on myself being defiant and curious. But, to my offense, when Curious Jorge does it nobody gets mad and he doesn’t end up scarred for life.
And that is the story of how I successfully ruined my night. Don’t believe me? (Which I would completely understand given my current experience. But, I warn you, once you see it, it can’t be unseen.) Or perhaps you just want to see for yourself? And If that’s the case: DailyMotion and pUrE_yAoI (a BlogSpot blog) and:
No. Judgement. Next up: Music since I can’t seem to be able to get my face up off of the ground after this experience, animes are going to have to take a break.