Wandering Wednesdays: Being Shameless at Target and Costco at Night

Welcome the new segment of sagedandconfused that I like to call “Wandering Wednesdays” in which I “wander” and post about my findings and experiences. This gives me a chance to post something new every Wednesday, which is pretty flipping exciting if I do say so myself. Today, I went to Target and Costco at night which is fitting seeing how the freaks come out at night anyways. I didn’t see any, but it would’ve been really cool if I would’ve.

SAM_3983Normally I hate going grocery shopping. It’s long, boring, and when I get home, we have to clean out the fridge and make room for the new food. Then wash all of the empty dishes and containers, which is straining and time consuming. Not only that, but it’s been cold recently and it gets dark a lot sooner than it does in the spring and summer months. But there is something about going out at night, that makes it more exciting.

(And look, a comet! I’m kidding. I’m not an idiot. I know that is not a comet. Obviously that is the UFO from the first season of the X-Files.)

SAM_3996You get to see the people that keep the same time as you do (though, when this picture was taken it was only just before 5 p.m. PST), the employees are grumpy because they have been working since early in the morning and don’t want to bother with helping you grab the bread because you’re only 5’5″, and you get to forget what you had actually came there to get because its late and you are really only looking to get back¬†home and watch TV¬† then go to sleep. Costco, was actually a lot emptier than it usually is,¬†which only reminded me that I was in a warehouse full of bulk options and substantial sizes of things you don’t need that much of, like cotton balls (Daria, anyone?). Target, on the other hand…
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…was full of unnecessary things I needed. Whenever I go to Target I break away from the pack to go look at the new t-shirts they got in. I have a mild obsession with graphic t-shirts, tank tops, sweaters, boy shorts¬†and caps. Really anything with¬†big words on it.¬†My real love is graphic t-shirts in the men’s department¬† because they had all of the funniest sayings and quotes but is seems as though the “Young Woman” section is stepping it up, because it was the hardest thing for me to put these sweaters back down.

Also, because I have a love for most things comic book (including DC Comics), I recently started watching “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” and all I have to say is “Did you hear about Ward? That’s messed up right?!” Totally blew my mind in a really angry “WHY THE H#LL DID THAT HAPPEN?!” sort of way. I felt (feel) betrayed. The only thing I can do is remember how absolutely amazing the Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer looks, and fangirl over that. Having James Spader in it was what sold it for me, and I more than looking forward to him being a villain. I already know he is going to rock at it. With it being released in my birth month is also a plus.

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SAM_4032 I don’t usually go for the sunglasses, but when I do…

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SAM_4038I’m also not much of a purse girl, but today I felt unwittingly compelled to indulge in my inner girl and grab all the bags I could get my hands on.
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SAM_4043 Then I have a nice talk with some wallets, and wonder shortly why my assistant wasn’t talking back.

SAM_4046 What is the first thing you go for when you visit Target? And how annoyed were you with Ward’s change in character, if you watch Agent’s of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Do you hail hydra? Or are you a sheild? Join me Friday, as I go over some basic yoga moves for “Fitness Fridays”. Until next time. Sage Out.

Vegan, Vegetarian & (Mostly) Gluten-Free Snack Guide to Fall TV, Part 1

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Because of the fall season, a lot of television shows are making their way into your homes, in a completely creepy way, just the way¬†that sounded. There¬†aren’t half as many as I was watching last¬†Fall TV season coming back on¬†(*cough* *cough* Almost Human *cough* *cough* Trophy Wife *cough* *cough*– excuse me, it’s all this fall fever I have)¬†but there are a lot of new shows coming out. Such as Selfie, Gotham, and Forever all of which don’t look half as good as they were intended to but I wont get into the specifics for the sake of not sounding redundant (that, and I don’t really feel like it).

I personally only watch TV via online streaming devices such as Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon. But I know how boring some television shows can be if you don’t watch them while stuffing your face with something (probably food). So you don’t end up like an angry Taiga¬†in the middle of the rain this fall television¬†season, I give you a list of salty snacks that will make even the most pressing television show worth while. Good enough to make you go all popcorn Gus:

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What does it taste like?

Angie’s makes good popcorn. Period. Some of my favorites include the Lightly Sweet¬†Popcorn and Sweet & Salty Caramel.¬†Her popcorns are gluten-free, vegan, non-gmo, and with no high-fructose corn syrup. Talk about the gold mine of popcorn. Kerry Washington would be proud. Unfortunately this particular popcorn is not vegan because of the cheese but it is lacto ovo vegetarian, so that’s exciting.

My¬†first time eating this, we had gotten a big bag of it from Costco, which they don’t sell anymore (boo you, Costco!) and I was like… this is intense. Very cheesy because they separate is so that the cheese¬†is on top while the caramel is on bottom so you have to shake it. Each flavor is very true to itself– it’s caramel and¬†cheddar and you can tell. It’s crunchy¬†but not too crunchy and definitely not stale or rubbery.¬†You don’t need a lot and they are best when you eat one of each together. Best show to eat this with: Are You Afraid of¬†the¬†Dark and the Haunting Hour this Halloween season.¬†Because most of them are terrible actors, you need something this intense in order to not laugh at them.

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What does it taste like?

This is the only snack on this list that is not gluten-free as far as I know, but that does not keeping it from being any less delicious. I ate these a lot. My favorite time to eat this is for breakfast, lunch or dinner.¬†They’re good when you’re hungry, not hungry, and starving. They’re are the epitome of great snack. My favorite way to eat them is with almond butter.

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Whaaaaat? Yes. Make it right. And that they did. The little crisps are salty goodness and the right amount of crack and when you dip them in almond butter it takes you back to those snacks you used to eat in school– but healthy. You know, those ones that you had the option of eating in cheese or peanut butter? I don’t know¬†about you, but those were my life, and since I don’t eat them¬†anymore these¬†are my life.

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What does it taste like?

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I know it seems weird to eat something called “Skinny Pop” because then it immediately makes you feel like you’re dieting. And at first these may even taste like you’re dieting, but once you rinse your palette of Orville Redenbacher this gluten-free alternative is like eating pizza my heart in comparison to cheese and crackers (which¬†cheese and crackers are¬†good, just not as good).¬†This popcorn is very light and not very salty.¬†You eat a lot¬†just so you can get to those exceptions that are insanely buttery and salty.¬†For popcorn like this, I’d say the best television show (or type of television show) to watch this with, would be reality TV. Whether it be something foreign and light like Roommate (because you know you get violent watching them eat every five seconds), or something more intense like Basketball Wives, Mob Wives¬†and Real Housewives. Just so you don’t have to really pay attention to what you’re eating and you can straight up Ellen DeGeneres it.

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What does it taste like?

Booty. Pirate’s Booty. I don’t know if you know this, but pirate’s booty is different (waaay different) than regular booty. It’s fluffier and is cheesier and saltier than most booties, which in this case is a good thing. Everybody has tried Pirate’s Booty. Everybody.¬†If you haven’t, Oh my goddess, where have you been?

I used to eat Pirate’s Booty a lot when I was younger but it was mostly those little bags with only like three or four fluffs of cheese and it was always¬†a huge disappointment. Somehow, recently, my sisters and I convinced my mom to get a huge bag of it from Costco. And even though it had been a long time since I’d last eaten it,¬†I¬†remembered it being absolutely delicious. And I was¬†right.¬†If it can shiver the timbers of the cosplayer with the butt chin on the bag, it’s got to be good.

These are also not vegan, but they are vegetarian (for some) and gluten-free. If you were to eat these with any type of show it would have to be something like Arrow or Flash, where there is enough going on that you completely forget how salty they are.

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What does it taste like?

My mom’s birthday is in late¬†July, so she’s super obsessed with these. Not too salty¬†but then not too not salty enough, if that makes any sense. We got them from Costco, like where we get most of our chips and they were super inexpensive like most things from Costco are. You’d be surprised the snacks you can get that are great healthy alternatives to things like Lays (c)¬†potato chips and Cheetos(c). ¬†These are best with dip. Preferably this yogurt dip:

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which is also gluten-free. As you can see Late July are organic and gluten free as well. I would suggest eating these babies with something like the Mindy Project or New Girl. Because even if you take your eyes off of them for a moment to dip your chip, you don’t miss anything.

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What does it taste like?

Vegetables. No I’m just kidding. It actually tastes nothing like what you probably think they taste like because they are literally made out of vegetables. They are actually way good, just the right amount of saltiness and slight sweetness, where you completely forget you are eating vegetable chips. I know it sounds odd and¬†I am not much of a food critic so bear with me, but they are buttery and extremely fragile. They literally melt¬†when you place them on your tongue.¬†These would be good with a¬†squash bisque, or a grilled cheese sandwich both of which I’ve tried and had them with. Tr√©s magnifique.

I would suggest eating these with something warm and funny like How to Get Away With Murder or Scandal or Witches Of EastEnd.

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What does it taste like?

These were my kettle corn first loves. They¬†are what we call “sweet popcorn”, because saying kettle corn is just too hard and doesn’t roll of the tongue. They are salty. They are sweet. They are crispy.¬†They… are actually super sweet. They put you in the mind of an upturned version of the kettle corn by¬†Boom Chicka Pop, which I mentioned earlier. But nevertheless, the are absolutely scrumlicious-finger-lickin’ good.

These are good to have for a show like Grimm (when it comes out) and the shows I mentioned for Boom Chicka Pop: the Haunting Hour, Goosebumps, and Are You Afraid of the Dark?.


And that is it… for now. You’ll take notice that this¬†is a part 1, which means I have more goodies coming soon so look¬†out!

For more on¬†what‚Äôs going on here¬†visit ‚ÄúThe Idea‚ÄĚ and if you have suggestions as to things I can try visit¬†‚ÄúThe Suggestion Box‚Ä̬†or comment below¬†I would love to hear what you have to say!

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Have Breakfast with Me, Yeah?: How to Make Almond Butter Toast on Gluten-Free Bread

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So, I had breakfast¬†this morning¬†and…¬†I¬†decided to take pictures of it.¬†¬†It was vegan and¬†vegetarian, but as somebody who’s used to healthy eating, it didn’t taste like it. It was delish and very filling despite the fact that it was only two pieces of gluten-free bread.¬†This is not much of a how-to, because in my personal opinion, it’s pretty self-explanatory. But, I’ll explain what I did,¬†anyway.

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¬†First things First (I’m the realest):

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So, you start with bread. I know, I know, shocking– but it’s necessary in this recipe. I chose the multi-grain, gluten-free bread from Costco. You would think that it would be either hard or dry, but surprisingly it was neither. When I first tasted this, as a part of a diet we were trying out, to¬†me, it tasted like¬†sweet sponge, and¬†it was the consistency of a sponge as well. But after you toast it (which I did in a pan, with no oil on high heat), it is actually quite delectable.

I took this particular picture¬†outside and it was so hot I am pretty sure the bag melted, like literally melted — either that or I nearly ripped it…. It’s hot guys! OKAY?! (No judging.)¬†But it doesn’t matter, it’s bread and it’s gluten-free¬†and it isn’t disgusting. I think that’s all that truly matters. Also, doesn’t that font just put you in such a Halloween mood?¬†Try and say¬†“Ah! I’m melting!” in your best wicked witch voice. Go ‘head try it. You know you want to. Nobody’s watching you but me.¬†*sigh* I love Halloween……

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Next,¬†spread on your almond butter (creamy not chunky), also from Costco. The other brand (I won’t drop names, it’s rude… MaraNatha. Who said that?)¬†had salmonella or something, and I’m pretty sure I had bacteria stuck in my intestine that made me look like I was having an alien child because only one portion of my stomach was bloated. It literally looked like a portion of my intestine had swollen up, like half of my entire torso had expanded outward. I sort of expected to give birth to E.T. the next time I sat down to use the bathroom.

et come home_758x214¬†But that’s neither here nor there, and It’s kind of weird to talk about amidst talking about food so I am just going to drop it…¬†Just remember, stick with Costco brand almond butter.

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Next, sprinkle on about a teaspoon or two of chia seed. It’ll be crunchy, but because it helps with digestion (which you’ll need help with if you’ve been eating a certain almond butter from a certain brand.. MaraNatha),¬†it’s worth it¬†and if you sprinkle a little honey and cinnamon of your choice¬†you can hardly taste it.

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Have with a glass of cold water, and maybe a banana and that is what we call the breakfast of champions. That is all for now. If (when) you try it, come back here and tell me what you think. If you love it, great; if you hate it, I hate you. I’m just kidding. Maybe. No, I’m really kidding.

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P.S. How many of you did your wicked with voice out loud? Tell me in the comment section below. Everybody who does it gets kudos in my next post for being awesome.


For more on¬†what‚Äôs going on here¬†visit ‚ÄúThe Idea‚ÄĚ and if you have suggestions as to things I can try visit¬†‚ÄúThe Suggestion Box‚Ä̬†or comment below¬†I would love to hear what you have to say!

What’s In My Basket?

I am not going to lie.¬†Our baskets are never usually this empty. There are 5 of us (all girls)¬†and we tend to eat a lot. I mean like, $500 worth of food at Costco¬†a lot. I know what you’re thinking. I’m over exaggerating. But, I’m not. Plain and simple. If I didn’t have a life, I’d prove it by¬†going¬†and finding an old receipt, taking a picture of it, and uploading it on here. But that sounds like too much work. And I’m lazy. Don’t judge.

So, we went to Costco recently and bought a handful of groceries to hold us over for a little while because the drive to Costco is not one we like to take often.  The food looked so healthy and ritzy after we bought it, I had to take a picture of it. Take note that everything you see here is natural, organic (if we can help it it), and gluten-free.

After this yummy-delicious, healthy, organic, natural food, we ate pizza.

New post next week. ūüôā Sage